Ethics challenge: day 12

Today was a PhD free day.  no thinking, no reading, no writing. Slow day talking to family in Canada, then movie with boy, dinner with hubby.  All good.  Main thing now is the preparation for boys confirmation.  I sent out invites today, but still need to find a good venue.  Maybe at the end it will always be at home, as always.  Tomorrow I am going to submit my job application.  Tomorrow is also our 14 anniversary.  It has not been easy.

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Ethics challenge: day 11

Yesterday there was a bus drivers strike, so I had to take the train home.  I can only say that glad that usually take the bus, as the long wait, the few services and the long walk makes the journey work – home very inefficient.

My meeting with supervisors went well.  Guess what? I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I met with other university.  Given that this is the first time ever that there both interested in my project, were talkative and provided good feedback.  If only they had behaved like that over the last  6 months.  Come to think about it, maybe I am where I should be.  This is the time and place to be at this particular stage in my PhD … maybe it all will work ok at the end?   After the meeting I was left with homework to do, I have to map the chain, pilot test my questions and check with ethics committee.  Meeting them again in two weeks.  Yesterday, I spent some time preparing my application.  My friend gave me excellent feedback, but i need to think well about her comments.  This weekend is preparing for that application.  For now it’s saturday, going for yoga.

Ethics challenge: day 10

Today i worked all day in my application.  I think I am almost there thanks to my good friend edits.  I will submit later today. It is 4am, woke up (or woken up) at 2am, so i decided to review my application.

In a few hours I will be meeting my supervisors.  Enough said. Overnight all students were sent an email regarding the payment of services.  Rules state that students cannot ask for monies 90 days after the service was rendered.  Soy yo Senor? Me thinks that that message by the Dean was due to my inquiry about the payment of some tutorials.  I felt that ex was going to deposit money into my academic account, but it seems that the paper was not submitted. My fault for nor checking a few years, and my fault again for no keeping records.

Ethics challenge: day 9

I woke up feeling happy! Still on a high after yesterday’s meeting with SDean of the other university. Her experience, the school’s current work and my PhD topic …. such a good match!! I felt at home, seriously at home.  Talking to someone who really understood the industry, the work ahead and the academic process, such a relieve.  I am afraid that it’s too good to be true.  The SDean speaks at 100% per hour, high up in the faculty and always busy with ‘000s projects, but was keen to take me on a her PhD student.  What to do to now?  Should i move on? Should i leave my supervisors? difficult decisions to make, besides the financial costs are huge.  You see, at my current university they pay me to study, but at the other I have to pay for the privilege.  The level of academic riguor and peer review is also much higher, and more loops to graduate.  My current uni is just a couple of kms from my house, the other is on the other side of town. But then … was it meant to be easy?  As for my challenge, the ethics docs have been submitted and now it is up to my supervisors to them move through the system.  Will they do it before our meeting tomorrow?

Today, I am going to spend my day working on my job application.  God, I need this job if I am to continue at uni and paying for kids school feels.  BTW, I had a discussion with my 13 y/o boy about marijuana. I must say i wasn’t prepared for that chat.

Ethics challenge: day 8

It is after midnight and I just submitted my ethics application.  So glad I finally did it!! Very happy now and ready to go to bed.  Tomorrow big day at work, plus got that interview with other universities. Talk scholarship and stuff.   Worried a bit about chat with eldest boy.

Done!

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3d illustration of checkbox with sign ‘done’

Ethics challenge: day 8

Last night I didn’t get to do any revision as I took my mom to the physio.  She is so fragile and in so much, but still stubborn as always.  Living with her is quite trying, but not because of her, but because of ME.  I know that I am the problem, I just don’t know why i have so much resentment and get angry so easily with her.  Anyway, her sickness and my businesses are not helping.

Today is a big day.  I’ll be updating my ethics documentation with the comments made by my three, well two supervisors, and hopefully, by my contact at DAF.  I am a bit anxious about meeting him, but I know my topic and the reasons behind it.  I must believe this.   Also important today is to work on my job application.  I also need to get that job to continue with life.  I need to believe that.  Good I am listening to this utube on Jack Ma. Need all the motivation I can get for this couple of days!

Ethics challenge: day 7

Looking forward to getting my supervisors feedback if any.  Today I will spend my day preparing my AO7 job application. I need to get this job.  This is my job.  If supervisors send anything, I will update documents and send to DPI for review.

Update – main supervisor sent his feedback, finally.  Only minor comments and some thinking to around a few  questions.  Should be ok  to submit by Wednesday.  Decisions time: got an email from potential supervisor different uni, just went my supervisors got back on track … what to to?  Also, my ex-supervisor didn’t make payment of one set of tutorials, she has even forgotten that I did it for her.  Worse, I don’t seem to have any documentation about that seminar.

Ethics challenge: day 6

I was thinking that this 30 days challenge should be called ‘Ethics challenge’, as my Qual stage may take up to 12 months. Yesterday I was a bad soccer mum, got too upset when the other team scored one minute into the game.  I know I should be more supportive, but I just couldn’t watch the game without me screaming at the poor kids. Besides the soccer grounds didn’t have a coffee van, still worse est the whole suburb didn’t have a decent coffee shop.  So  I went to the car  to escape the crashing of our team and then, my boy got hurt!! Go all the way to country, get trashed, no coffee and now an injured child!! Physio in the evening.  My other boy was being looked after our new compadres and was in PC playing with kids. At least one in the family was happy.  The new compadres bought him an outfit, my other comadre not sure about her.

Yesterday, I had some time to work on my 6 months vision board/chart/page. Looking at it now I realised that it still needs a bit of work, life is a balance but I mostly included PhD work.  I DO need to get the AO7 full-time position, I do want to get boys confirmed, I do want to go to Sydney on holidays and want to get involved in the DAF project.   Those things are so important for my future and the future of my family and PhD.

Below my vision board for now, more to come.

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Qual Challenge: Day 5

Last night I spent some listening to few vlogs about being PhD student.  They were uplifting – just what I needed – but watching them i realised how much more i need to prepare to be true a PhD Candidate.  To date I have have cruised through the program, my main concern really the lack of proper supervision.  As I continue the research, my own shortcomings start to appear, and I can’t hide behind the lack of supervision for much longer.  It’s to be, it is up to me.  That’s hard to comprehend, harder to accept, hardest to practice.  I came across a few articles on part-time Phd, and it’s given my inspiration as I can see other people have completed their studies.  They all say the same, it is not easy but it can be done and at the end it is very rewarding.  We’ll see.  Tara mentions that for PhD you need to have a personal objectives, strategy and timing.  So, I think that my personal objectives are: 1) I want to be called a Dr and be an example to my refugee community; 2) I want a second career after the public sector and work internationally; 3) I want to publish and write a book; and 4) I want all this sacrifice now (time away from children, family, work) to pay off.  Those are the objectives, as the journal progresses some may change and/or evolve.  Later on I will be working on the strategies to reach the objectives and later I will give it a time.  Thanks Tara.

Today I am going to take it a bit easy.  I may just identify specific names and contact details for respondents.   I will wait until Monday for updating with feedback from Sup Great.  I am thinking I will only interview 15 – 18 people and I will need at least 8 days.  I’ll see how that goes.  Last night I prepared a list of the type of respondents likely to participate in my in-depths interviews.  Should I travel to Korea or at least try to contact the Korean importer?   Anyway, I was saying today I will be a soccer mum – washing uniforms, taking Ale to games and preparing a nice warm dinner.  It’s lovely to be a full-time mum from time to time.

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Qual Challenge: day 4

Yesterday afternoon I sent an email to my supervisors asking to review my ethics documentation and provide feedback before next Tuesday.  It kind of worked. I got a response from the three supervisors today, no much feedback or input, but at least a sort of response.  One supervisor corrected a spelling mistake, the other questions if I was prompting the respondents too much  and the third excuse himself till Monday as too busy to provide feedback this week.  Anyway, hopefully by Monday after their review the documents, changes will be kept to a minimum. If all goes according to plan, I’ll ready to submit on Tuesday evening. Fingers crossed.  Today I also arranged to meet my DPI contact next Tuesday lunch time.  Meeting these guys always stressed me out as without their support, my project will go nowhere.  Still, slowly, slowly, this PhD thingy is progressing.  Granted, very slow, and I am unsure of research abilities, but progress is progress.

I have started also to look for international academic conferences.  After confirmation the Uni gives you $4,000 for research and conference attendance, so my research account is full for now.  I came across an international Horticulture Conference for next year.  Have asked my supervisors for advice on this conference, I know that it may not be good for publications, but  ok as conference, I guess.  So who knows, I may be off to Turkey next year!!

Turkey here I come!