I have just came across the NaNoWriMo fad and joined a FB club. It seems that the the National Novel Writing Month is on November people are invited to write up a novel over the next 30 day days. You can join in by registering in their website http://nanowrimo.org/. Well, I will use the time to write up my dissertation. My goal is to complete the literature review by end of November. In a month I will have completed Chapter 2 of my thesis. Chapter 2 will have at least 6,000 words. Well, if i don’t finish my damn dissertation, I could still become a writer and write a novel about procrastinating on your thesis! If I am going to complete drafting 6,000 by 21 November, plus one week review / edit by 28 November, I need to write up 286 words per day. Doable most days, but there will be days that I may have to work overtime to compensate for days when no chance to write.
Today Mr Grumpy got even grumpy and even called me ‘cerota’, sounds terrible and it hurts. It is bullying, bordering in verbal domestic violence. The is so much tension at home when he’s in this nasty mood and it gets worse when i don’t pay much attention to it, he feels ‘abandoned’, what a cry baby. Always this shit when I am busy doing my things and diverting my attention away from him, jealousy at its best. The good times seldom last long, but the bad times are easily forgotten. That could be the title of my novel? No, too much attention wasted, better finish my dissertation.
Today I wrote a good section of my chapter reviewing a model. Tonight I will read a few articles, so I can write up tomorrow the review of another tomorrow. During the week, I could write up another model. On Thursday i could present a copy to my supervisors, but not sure it will be good enough or should I give it another week? That could well be just a draft, how many words should a literature review have? I think after I finish the theoretical model, plus adoption of agriculture, plus digital technologies, plus horticulture, I will have more than 12,000, is that too little or too much?
Yesterday was my last day at work for the year, yeah! It felt soo good saying goodbye. Today is the last day at home. I got up at 4am and got some uni work done. Will complete packing and buying last minute presents and stuff. I am so excited, but worried at the same time. I don’t know if I can be with Mr X for 10 long weeks, without wanting to kill him or at least divorce him. Gosh, he is so INTENSE, so INTENSE … it is tiring. The boys need calm, calm, the gentle care of their parents and Mr X is all the contrary. How do I survive and enjoy my time? That and the violence in El Salvador and potential illnesses are the three things that worry me the most of travelling, but by far is his intensity what worries me the most. Today it is cuchubal time, so very busy day.
Being grateful like most projects is easy at the beginning. You are so full of energy and hopeful that only good things will come your way. As time passes, real life settles in and you start to wonder if all this gratitude thingy is not just more self-development mumble-jumble, Well today at day 5, I feel more compelled to complain than to express gratitude to the universe. Should I be thankful for being able to recognize those things that disturb my peace? I think, I should. So here it is: I am grateful for self-awareness.
You see, I got a messy husband, a very messy husband, listen up, a very, very, messy husband. And it drives me insane. I just cant believe that one person can live with so much rubbish around them and feel that’s perfectly normal. Asking him clean up after himself, quickly degenerates into a fight. Asking for common cleanliness, it is pointless. Today after a hard day at work, I find the house in a mess, with dirty dishes, clothes, paper all around our home. When I ask for it to be cleaned,I get the ‘I am not your cleaner’ cry. Well, if you can’t clean, then make enough money to get a cleaner. Simple. Great got it out of my chest. So thankful for that too. Glad that I got it out of my system, so I can move on and really appreciate my little boys, my messy home, and, even that smelly man.
Gerald and I are living in a converted pig-sty… It was a fabulous house – now it’s a pig-sty.
‘It was a symbiotic relationship, one that had evolved over thousands and thousands of days’