Today I worked mainly on very long transcript plus I sent one to a transcription firm. Didn’t do much on report writing. Enrolled in stats training.
Life is watching tv to avoid screaming at boys and fighting with hubby. No food, no dinner and no clean dishes when I got home today. Upset.
Did a bit more on industry report. Starting to read articles to review methodology sections. Must write about 10,000, got about 2,500, 25% not bad. Maybe by tomorrow I can start get to 3000 and 5000 by Wednesday next week, 7000 by Monday, the day I am meant to check with supervisor. I also need to check potential journals and conferences. Uni Life.
I have done a bit more coding. Finished the completed supply chain transcripts. I also started very slow on the industry report, planning to have it finished by end next week. So I guess that means the coding needs to be finished by mid next week. Somehow I also need to finish the three transcripts left. Busy times. Still very little energy, and no motivation.
Mum toilet’s woes are fixed for now. Hubby did a good job, as I always say he’s so good at emergencies, it’s the day to day that’s a struggle. The beauties of married life.
Hot as hell!! This weekend has been hot and humid. Hardly conducive to PhD work or any work. On friday i did 10mins of transcript work, yesterday it was more a day to reflect, eat and watch TV, day lost, but really lost to what? I have no energy whatsoever to do any uni work, my body is aching and my mind is paralised. I cant see past the next transcript, and I know that time is kicking, and i wont be ready, and that makes it even hard to think, write, act. I feel that at any moment I will break down in tears. I am so close to the edge, right now. To the edge of giving up all the work i have done so far. If I stop now, not many people will know … well except work and the ‘000s I have told so far.
Gio kind of fix mum’s plumbing problem. It will be expensive, but not as expensive as first told. Poor mum she wants to go home, but the house is not ready. They fixed the plumbing problem, but know have the soil and garden mess problems. One after the other.
Yesterday I was gently reminded that I come from an asshole country, pais de mierda. El Trumpete que no es mas que un trabajador de los billonarios y los antichrist, insulto a varios paises. It has been a joke for most of us, and coming from that man, we dont take it as an insult, it is more or a reminder of the dangerous times we are living under. That a guy who is well known as a pussy grubber, calling my parents, brothers, children, family and friends, assholes, that is rich and unacceptable. Coming from a country that financed the civil war in ours just so they wouldn’t have their own people calling for justice and a better democratic system. For the republican party and us citizens to still support him, that’s where the real problem is. Too many white american still giving him the full support and admiration, too many migrant voters disconnected from the political process. Too many citizens wanting either a saviour or a scapegoat for all their problems. No many wanting to take responsibility for their lives, their mistakes, their communities, their country. It is either this man is going to save me and MAGA or these brown, black people are taking whatever is good. Good vs evil all the time; black vs white; us vs them. Shithole countries vs heaven countries. That dichotomy of good vs evil, that’s what hell is, and Trumpete and his followers are then evil creatures. The anti-Christ has arrived and is orange.
Feeling very much the impostor syndrome, feeling like this PhD is madness, maybe I am not PhD material. Have lost all interest, no energy for the transcripts, less energy for analysis, can’t see how I am going to write. Awful feeling.
Fighting with mum again. She is not taking pills and lying abou it. Can’t deal with her. Besides Plumber’s quote is more than $3.5K. I am also trying to get dad’s visa to the US, so many questions.
Did a bit of coding and a bit of transcription work. Mum lost again, this time a lady found her. Fight with ‘neglected’ hubby due to mom’s poo problem. Life sucks sometimes.
Had chat with uni professor, a waste of time and money. More money worries with all the poo at mums house. Did a bit of transcript work. Busy at the office.
I am pleased to announced that I did some coding work today. Watched a few NVIVO videos, started with identifying nodes, and I even coded one interview. No bad for a Sunday. Took the boys to the pool and prepared a lovely chicken cacciatore. Watched TV and even had small arguments with each member of the family. This week, more coding 5 more interviews coded, 1 chat with UQ researcher, 1 transcript. Progress.
Went to Toowoomba to pick mum and boys up. The sewage in her house is not working and due to time the of the year, it was hard to get a plumber over the weekend. Poo and foul smell everywhere. So had to drive all the way and get them. Feeling tired, but happy boys are back with me.
I finished another transcript, very pleased with myself. Only three more to go. Tomorrow I may have a break from transcript work and start coding. I should then, code one interview per day. Doable??
I just finished one more transcript! Small wins. I got only 4 more to go. Being realistic, I think I should just do one more this weekend, and then start the analysis. Boys still in the country, mums toilet not working, so we have to pick them up tomorrow. During the day I’ll be working on the analysis, and drive up the mountain in the arvo. Went to Physio today, got doctors appt for next week. Swimming tomorrow.